I thought it would be good to look over this past year’s resolutions before getting to my resolutions for 2010.
- No smoking: √ still good
- No drinking: FAIL, since I’m drinking Crown Royal, which not only makes the end of a perfect day but also, as I’m learning right now, makes the start of a perfect day, and Throwback Pepsi, with a side of Pizza Hut pizza.
- No playing with sharp knives when drinking Jagermeister (or any other alcohol product, for that matter): √
- No more joking about drinking: FAIL, because drinking Crown Royal and Throwback Pepsi doesn’t just make the start and end of a perfect day, it also makes the middle of a perfect day too.
- Integrate my online split personalities (unfinishedperson.com, justarunningfool.wordpress.com, justareadingfool.wordpress.com, spiritualexercises.wordpress.com and here, no hyperlink required, plus the other 2 million I have) into one, maybe two mainframes: √ sort of with most things over at unfinishedperson.com.
- No more parenthetical remarks (because really, why are they needed?): FAIL (would have been √ except for my repeating of resolution and this this parenthetical remark and ones following this).
- Less hyperlinks and YouTube videos: FAIL, judging by this post and my last post, and this new application Apture I discovered with the help of fellow Humorbloggers dot com member Bonehead …oops, I mean, Bonehead
- No more war: FAIL, would have been √ except for that asshat who accepted the Nobel Peace Prize one week after announcing his decision to send 30,000 additional troops into Afghanistan and one day before bombing Yemen with cruise missiles (okay, in his defense, there are many wars going on worldwide that aren’t ALL his country’s fault).
- Real sentences and not cut-off sentences like this that really don’t need a period, but I put one there anyway. FAIL <– would have been √ except for my repeating of resolution.
- No more using asterisks to lead to footnotes. √
So not counting the four I already have checked, I only have six resolutions to come up with to add to those previous four:
1. To not procrastinate.
2. To not be such a corporate shill as I’ve shown above, here, and here, to name just a few of the places I’ve been a shill.
3. Instead to be a bodiless shrill like a screaming ghost, you know, that descends upon you when you least expect it…oh, wait, I was going for opposite of “corporate,” not “corporeal,” that’s what I getting for drinking in the middle of the day.
4. To continue to have posts that have an ethereal quality about them.
5. To use more words that end with “real” in posts, including the ones I’ve already used, plus “surreal,” “unreal,” and most especially “hyperreal.”
6. To not use Top 10 posts like this or this when I really don’t have any other ideas of what to write in a post.
Oh, and this:
