Tag Archives: Humor-Blogs.com

Meandering Monday #2: Stop the presses! I’ve posted on my blog! Sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll!

Posted on October 13, 2008 by unfinishedperson | 1 Comment

Today is the second week for a new feature here called Meandering Monday, where I…uh…meander on a wide range of topics, from sex to drugs and rock and roll. Okay, not really, but I thought if I could hook you in, why not? If that turns you off, then let’s say I’m going to meander about gardens, classical music and cooking. It’ll be like NPR or PBS, but without the letters and the pledge drives.

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First, up Sudden Wallet Awareness Syndrome runs in the family:

On Saturday, my father “lost” his wallet while we were at a picnic. I had to stifle a laugh as I thought, “Is this what I look…and sound like?”

My father: “I know it was right here…I don’t understand because I had it right here…”

About an hour later, he found it:

Funny thing is just before we left my parents, I “lost” my cell phone, but it “magically appeared” in my coat pocket where I left. I “lose” my glasses all the time too. Oh, there they are: ON MY FACE!

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Also while over at my parents, my wife…well…needed a feminine product, because she didn’t have one with her. Here is what she found from the days my sister was in college:

For some reason, it struck me as funny and made me wonder what other products could be advertised in a similar manner:

Choosing the right college is a smart decision…Choosing Scott’s Rapid-Dissolving Toilet Tissue is another smart decision!

Or for older people that might be going into nursing homes:

Choosing the right nursing home is a smart decision…Choosing Depends is another smart decision!

Basically, the slogan could go with any product for bodily functions of which you could think. You get the idea.

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My sister yesterday put up a post about how I inform her via phone every time I put up a post here or at one of my other 20 blogs (okay four other, but still…). I’m really not that bad.

I’m much worse. I not only call, but also e-mail, Twitter (which goes on my Facebook status too) her and others when I put up a post. I haven’t hired a skywriter or gone to a radio ad like she has suggested, but I might think about posting a YouTube video. Everybody else these days is on YouTube, why not me saying “Hey, check out the blog post I just put up!”?

I’m a blore like Lobo, I admit it.

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This Week’s Funny Find is papercages from the Outer Boondocks of California. I’ll be featuring her feed on my sidebar at right all week. Check her out. She’s someone I’ve seen a few times, but to whom I’m only beginning to be introduced. So far, I’ve highlighted Doug @ Taunt Vortex, Nick @ Buffalo This, Mike @ PlainOleMike and Kevin Lieber (a.k.a. Julius Bloop).

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The most important link on this page: Humor-Blogs.com not only because you can vote for this post there (still primarily, though), but also because you can find funny bloggers like those I highlight each and every day (secondarily).

Until next time…

Keep meanderin’ meanderin’, meanderin’,
Though others are disapprovin’,
Keep them thoughts meanderin’!

(If you try to vote and can’t, please go to the link for Humor-Blogs.com on the sidebar. It will take you to the right place. Not that I’m a blore or anything.)

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Posted in Unfinished rambling

Tagged humor, Humor-Blogs.com, losing wallet, rambling, random

Am I that much of a geek? Uh, yes, I am.

Posted on September 15, 2008 by unfinishedperson | 4 Comments

By now, if you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I’m obsessed with the Scripto Giga pens. If you didn’t know or even just for a refresher course, see posts here, here and even there. But I thought I’d show that I’m not the only one obsessed with the pens by sharing a few responses I’ve received from people to those initial posts, including a representative from a company that says his company still has them.

Back in July, I received this comment from a writer named EM:

Just thought you’d like to know that there are others out there, just like you, yearning for the Giga. Well, actually, I still have about 8 packs left, but they’re MINE–ALL MINE.

The good news is….drum roll….a friend of mine received a call from someone somewhere, asking if she was still interested in buying the Giga, because he was selling, AND letting her know that Scripto is planning on repackaging the Giga this fall. Sorry that I don’t have more info, but I was only half listening to her and half watching “who wants to be on a japanese game show”, but I do know that he did have some available and he knew of future Gigas.

So, cheer up. The good times are a coming!

Wow. Am I that much of a geek? Uh, yes, I am. When I read that he had eight packs left and he wasn’t going to give them up, on one hand, all I could think was “Bastard!” but then on the other hand…NO, NO, like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, I must cry out “There is no other hand!” — and especially no other hand without a Scripto Giga pen in it!

Then in August, I received this response:

You are not alone sir… I found this website searching to bulk order. BUT I might have salvation for you! I noticed that I had a knockoff from some other company somewhere around here, and I’ll follow up. Pentex or Pentax or something… I know because I thought they were the same pen. Except one was “broad” and one was “coarse” So I shit you not! Help may be on the way.

While I try not to use vulgarity (or too much here), I thought what he said was hilarious– like I wouldn’t believe him otherwise– and also that “help may be on the way.” Again, I thought, “Am I that much of a geek?” But then I realized that I truly desired that help, that SALVATION of which he was speaking. Yes, I pray that it’s true that the Almighty Giga Pen (hallowed be its name) will be making its triumphant return to the Dollar General down the street from us.

Finally, I believe it was later in August, I received this comment:

I have the pen

included was a link to this site: TNT School Supplies

and then just a week or so ago, I received this message:

I HAVE AN UNLIMITED SUPPLY OF THE GIGA PENS. CALL ME, EMAIL ME.
770-886-8733
tntss1@hotmail.com

I did call and found out that I could get the pen– manufactured under a different name, but it was the same pen, the man to whom I spoke assured me. He even said the pens were so great that almost all of his employees used them in their offices. (Of course, what else would he say?)

He told he had them in bulk and even could sell me under the bulk amount if I wanted. While unfortunately, right now I’m broke and can’t even afford the small amount, I’m willing to take a chance in the near future that they are the same pen. Yes, I’m that much of a geek.

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If you think I’m an uber-geek, then vote for this post at Humor-Blogs.com where I’m not the uber-geek, but this guy is–but hey, I’m No. 2 in Geek Humor! And that’s something to be proud of, um, isn’t it?

This post also can be found on Unfinished Rambling(s).

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Posted in Unfinished rambling

Tagged Fiddler on the Roof, humor, Humor-Blogs.com, rambling, random, Scripto Giga pen

Things that make my mother’s skin crawl

Posted on September 1, 2008 by unfinishedperson | 3 Comments

From the same folks who brought you talking ants and a big, honking lot of pasta salad comes this post:

Often while at my parent’s, I joke– as I often do– with my mother about letting the cats into the house, especially in the winter, even though I know she’s allergic. The same way that I joke with The Sister about putting ketchup on her fries even though I know she hates ketchup or catsup (which is it anyway? I’ve always gone with ketchup myself, because catsup sounds like something that a fur ball that a cat coughed up). It’s a brother thing. What can I say?

“You know they make me itch,” she’ll say.

Last night, though, I learned that not only cats make her itch, but also other things that one might not connect with itching.

When I offered her some popcorn I just popped in the microwave, she tells me:

“I can’t eat popcorn any more.”

“Why?”

“It makes me itch.”

“It makes you itch?” I ask incredulously.

“Yes, it makes me itch. I don’t know why, but it does.”

Later, a horse flies finds its way into the house by her recliner, which sits by a screen door.

“Don’t let it bite me! It makes me itch!”

She hastily adds: “Don’t laugh…and do not put this on a blog!”

Which, of course, immediately makes me laugh and go for my notebook.

Then as often happens in my parent’s house, she uses Scripture (it is sharper than any two-edged sword you know) on me: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

“Yea, it will return unto you hundredfold,” my dad says (okay, he didn’t actually say that, but it was something to that effect and said in a very Charlton Hestonesque voice).

Both of them tell me that as susceptible as I am to allergies that this is something about which I should not joke and my dad concludes the discussion:

“You’ve had nothing until you start to itch.”

Which, I guess, is true, when you think about it.

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Visit Humor-Blogs.com to vote for this post and then go visit some of the other bloggers there, where questions like why the chicken crossed the road are being answered by luminaries such as Barack Obama, John McCain, Al Sharpton, John Lennon and Albert Einstein.

This post also can be found at Unfinished Rambling(s).

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Posted in Unfinished rambling

Tagged humor, Humor-Blogs.com, itch, rambling, random

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? The man at the funeral, that’s who.

Posted on August 18, 2008 by unfinishedperson | 2 Comments

I am talking to my father on the phone a few days ago when he says this:

That reminds me I have a cookie in my car from a month ago.

Um (if you haven’t noticed, I didn’t learn anything from that Oral Communications class I had in college, because I use um a lot…um, sorry), okay, Dad. So naturally I have to ask just where this cookie came from.

He explains that a man they knew pulled the cookie out of his pants pocket and gave it to him while he was at a funeral:

We didn’t know what to do with it, because it had been in his pocket.

My mother in the background says:

Oh, Ronnie, it wasn’t like he had had it in there for days. He just bought it that day he told us.

(Of course, he might have been lying and STOLE it.)

Okay, so this all really makes sense, first from accepting the cookie in the first place. Um, how about saying, “No, thank you. We already ate.”? I mean, even if you know the person, is it normal to go around accepting a cookie from said person at a funeral?

Second, why is the man giving the cookie away at a funeral? Did he think, “You know, I shouldn’t have this cookie later, because my friend Bob just died and I shouldn’t be having good thoughts like how good the cookie is. I think I’ll give it to Ron. I bet he wouldn’t mind since he didn’t know Bob as well as I did, and it won’t be as disrespectful if he eats it and enjoys it later.” Huh?

Also not to belabor this too much, but was the cookie wrapped even? Or was it just loose in his pocket? I mean, you don’t know what was in his pocket, Dad. Ewwww.

Humor-Blogs.com – Click – Register – Vote Pretty please? My popularity is what’s important to me. I so want to be in the cool crowd and right now, I’m not even in the top 30. I mean, really…also registration is free and you won’t be mailed any spam.

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On a separate matter, contrary to what my sister says here, I was not like a 14-year-old girl when I learned that my blog was accepted by Chelle B. of The Offended Blogger into the fold at Humor Bloggers dot com. A 14-year-old boy, maybe. But definitely not a 14-year-old girl, although if I was both, it would be The Best of Both Worlds.

Also on the members-only forum on “the private, highly secret, underground ‘members only’ section of Humor Bloggers dot com” –although there is a discussion forum open to the public, which is way cooler than the ultrasecret members forum– Chelle B.–

(I don’t know what the B stands for. Bitch? Nah, too easy, and so not true, because she’s so cool. I mean, I don’t mean to be like a 14-year-old girl, but if there’s anything “bitch” about Chelle B., it’s “bitchin’”. Boo yah? Maybe. I don’t know really)

– anyway, she appointed me the official Humor Bloggers Speaker of the House. Woo hoo! Of course, I have no idea what the job description entails, but I’m so adding it to my sidebar (at Unfinished Ramblings).

This was also posted at Unfinished Rambling(s).