an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe) » Devotions

This Pilgrim’s Progress

unfinishedperson — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 13:53:54 +0000

I am participating in a discussion group (for me online; for others, either online and/or IRL) with the First Lutheran Church of Jamestown, N.Y. on the book, Holy Conversation: Talking About God in Everyday Life by Richard Peace. I was invited to the group by Tara Lamont Eastman, with whom I have become acquainted through the blog Sleeping with Bread and now her own blog Uphill Idealist. This will be my second post as part of that group. The first post can be found here.

The second discussion point is based on the questions: “What was your pilgrimage to God like? Consider the phases you went through in your pilgrimage of faith. What helped you move toward God? When you think of all the stages of your own transformation, what does that do to your perspective on other people’s pilgrimage?”

In talking about my pilgrimage to God, I don’t like to talk in the past tense. It’s not what it “was” like, but what it is like. It is a continuing pilgrimage toward God Much like my namesake for this blog, unfinished person, I am not complete.

That said, my pilgrimage to God began at a young age, as I believe I mentioned last week, when I recited the Sinner’s Prayer at the age of four. Through elementary school and early high school, it continued in the Assemblies of God denomination. Later in high school, it branched out ever slightly into other independent Pentecostal-like churches.

In college, I can disenchanted with the “Pentecostal movement” and eventually doubted my faith in God even though I attended a Christian liberal arts college. Throughout my four years in college, I bounced from church to church, at first among Pentecostal churches, then moving out wider to evangelical and finally more “structured” churches like Lutheran and Episcopalian.

Before graduating, I met a “cradle Catholic” at our school who began me on my journey, again which is ongoing, toward Catholicism. In addition to him, I later met a young woman, who also graduated from my alma mater, who converted to Catholicism. Through the help of that young woman, who later became my wife, and the assistance of the “cradle Catholic,” I began to learn more about the Catholic faith. In April 1995, I was confirmed in the Catholic Church and have been continuing that journey ever since.

For more on my journey into the Catholic Church, I have written about it previously here and here on my now-defunct blog, Journeying with the Saints, the posts from which eventually will be transferred to this blog.

Considering all the stages of my own continuing transformation, and that I continue to have close contacts with members of my immediate family who are Protestant, I tend to look at other people’s pilgrimage toward (and even away from, and no journey at all toward or away from) God in an ecumenical or catholic (small “c”) light. I count among my friends those of other faiths beside the Christian faith, including Muslims, Jews and those with “no faith” at all in a “Higher Power.”

As Dolly sings in this song:

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we’re here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth

or as Bono (well, in this case, The Boss) sings in this one (one of so many great versions of this song available on YouTube):

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I’m still running

On stepping into the clearing and breathing

unfinishedperson — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:25:17 +0000

For this week’s Sleeping With Bread post (click on the badge at right for more information about the meme), this week’s host Mary-Lue used the following quote that the late Mike Yaconelli used in “The Back Door,” a back cover essay of the Christian magazine, The Door, as a jumping-off point:

The more that rushes through our minds, the more complicated and anxious life seems. Maybe TV will help settle us down–or the newspaper–or some work–or sex–or a big snack. Less seems to gnaw at us then. Life stays put for a moment. We feel in control again–we’re “doing” something–anything.

The after-effect of the doing leaves us more anxious, but more drugged. We’ve exchanged a gnawing anxiety for a dulled sensibility. Maybe, at least, we can sleep now. We do, on the surface. But not below. Our dreams are troubled. Fragments of life whir round and round without a center. We wake tired, and struggle out for another round.

You and I share such an “underlife.” It usually is bearable; it even seems “normal,” sometimes out of sheer habit. Sometimes it is even fun. But it is not fulfilling. We are grown for more than that. When this becomes most clear, when the whole daily round feels most wearisome, we hear ourselves crying out … How long will I, must I, tromp through this dense jungle half crazed and blind before the clearing appears?

Tilden Edwards

The answer to that last question is evidently a long, long, long time as I began this post on Tuesday morning and here it is now Thursday morning. That “more that rushes through our mind,” of which Edward speaks, is rushing through my mind even now, as I need to finish up an assignment for an online writing site later this morning and I go to work at the library this afternoon. Among the things that hasn’t helped me settle down and the “less” seeming “to gnaw” at me this week so far:

Computer games like Bejeweled Blitz and Solitaire
Going to the gym once without an iPod to cover the blaring stream of sensationalistic headline-grabbing “news” from the TV (it’s a small gym at a local high school and only has two TVs, most of the time with Fox News or CNN Headline News on them).
Worrying about whether or not a meeting, which I covered for the newspaper for which I am a correspondent, should have been open to the public (short version: a “seminar” on the impacts of natural gas well drilling on public water systems for municipal officials; it wasn’t) and seeming to hear deaf ears from not only the officials, an attorney for one of the municipal authorities, but also an editor at the paper.
My futile attempt at trying to catch up with reading blogs that I follow in Google Reader (I know, my life is a LIVING HELL!!!! <– joke).

So where have the clearings been? While I have found some solace in finding the comedy in life’s situations on one of my other blogs, Unfinished Rambler, I have found the clearings mainly, in one place, in my daily readings of the Liturgy of the Hours, to which I haven’t gotten this morning, but will be right after this post. The problem is that I haven’t allowed myself to step into the clearings long enough to breathe in the fresh air that are there. I have rushed through what are intended to be prayers, but are just what I called them: “readings.” This morning, Lord, let me step into the clearing you have prepared for me and breathe.

Grateful for what online friends have given me, but not necessarily for what I’ve given them

unfinishedperson — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:59:53 +0000

For this week’s Sleeping With Bread post (click on the badge at right for more information about the meme), I’m going to cut right to the chase.

For what am I most grateful this past week?

Online friends and acquaintances, namely three people (or groups) in particular:

1. Traci Davis of Tan Yer Hide and Tone It Too: Back before the start of November, she challenged me to a 90-day challenge through Team Beachbody. I decided to join and then promptly almost at the very start of the month came down with the flu for the next few weeks. I never got back on the bus, or in words Traci might understand better, on the horse. However, Traci hasn’t gotten off the bus — or the horse, or my case for that matter. Last week she sent me a message on Facebook, asking me how I was doing with my plan. Not well, Traci, not well. However, because of your perseverance, coach, I am getting back on the bus, horse and my case in the near future. Each year our landlord gives us $100 back, what he calls a “heat rebate.” With that money, we’re getting the membership to help us through the winter months.

2. Bee of Bee’s Musings and Nooter the Dog: Last year Bee began a Secret Santa among bloggers, where the gifts given away were virtual gag gifts. This year I participated in it on my blog Unfinished Rambler and gave a gift to Kevin of Always Home and Uncool, while receiving a gift from Nooter. The gift I gave can be found here; the gift I received, here. Thanks, Bee and Nooter, for reminding me of the joy of the season when for others it can be depressing.

I also want to thank Humorbloggers Dot Com for the same thing: reminding me of the joy of the season with its Second Annual Christmas Humor Carnival.

3. Tara Lamont Eastman of Uphill Idealist: I became acquainted with Tara through Sleeping with Bread. She keeps tagging me in notes on Facebook to remind me about the meme and is one of the reasons I’m writing this post at 2 in the morning (and typing it in at quarter of 4 in the morning). Thanks, Tara.

For what am I least grateful this past week?

Again, online friends and acquaintances, or specifically the way I’ve let a few of them down, primarily, though, two:

1. Mark A. Rayner, author of the blog The Skwib and the book Marvellous Hairy, of which he sent me a free copy and I told him I’d review by the end of the year. When he contacted me on Facebook last month, I told him I’d review the book by the end of the year.

2. Louisiana Alba, author of the blog Swimanog and the book Uncorrected Proof, who sent me a free copy of her book and whom I also told I’d review her book by the end of the year.

Starting later today, I hope to begin to make good on those promises as I’ll start to read Mark’s book– and this weekend, I’ll begin Louisiana’ s book, with the goal of finishing her book by Dec. 31. I’ll let you know what I think of both of them once I’m finished with them.