Finishing the unfinished things

For see the winter is over, the rains are gone. “

Song of Songs 2:11

One of the suggested readings was the one above. Ironically, as I write this, it is raining and it is a cold rain. Snow is still expected later this week. On Wednesday, I began the fourth week, a time for celebration and it seems like since then, I have had every reason not to celebrate, especially Friday night.

That is the night our computer died — suddenly, unexpectedly, as if they succumb when you expect it!? First thought: money. How will we afford fixing it or replacing it. We are broke with no relief in sight. Second thought: How do I get stories to paper with no computer? I am at a loss. What of what is on the computer? Writings that are there? Poetry, journal entries? Lesser thought: blogging.

Sunday, I awaken with a thought on how I leave everything unfinished: unfinished stories, unfinished poems, unfinished projects, unfinished exercise routines, unfinished thoughts…I write in a journal about leaving things unfinished and realize that there are things I have finished, and will be finishing, even if I don’t realize it.

1. I had a goal to finish a marathon by the time I was 40. While technically not true, in terms of effort exerted and a total elevation gain of 5,000 feet, when I completed the 24.9 mile Bald Eagle Mountain Megatransect, I did complete a marathon.
2. The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola: I began this in September 2007 and will finish it, at least in terms of the physical duration, next month in May 2008. Thus I will have finished this. True, the work that has begun here will not be finished. It is only just beginning…as the next verse Song of Songs 2:12 says, “The time of pruning the vines has come.” But the timeframe of the Spiritual Exercises will be finished.

So based on these two thoughts, I decide that my Just A (Running) Fool blog has run its course, pun intended, and that this blog here will end in May. I will continue my blogging on one blog: Unfinished Person In An Unfinished Universe.

I am always talking about my blogs with my spiritual director, to the point where she must think that I am a total narcissist and if you are reading this, you may think so too. I even began a fourth blog to point back to my other three blogs: me, me, me, look at me. But in other way, I (again, look at me) believe that my “struggle” (such as it is) with blogging is a snapshot of my psychological profile: of how I’m trying to integrate all these different parts of myself, body, mind and soul, into one person who is not finished. And in turn, how we all try to become complete people, integrating all the different parts of ourselves into one cohesive whole.

In the Song of Songs, the verses above are set within a quote, which begins with “My lover speaks; he says to me.” All those verses are as a lover spoken to his bride or as God to the writer or as God to me or even, not that it’s all about me, you. “Let me see you, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and you are lovely,” verse 14 says.

God invites us to find our true authentic self, our true voice, who and how we really are: We are lovely in His sight…

…even if we are unfinished, He sees us as finished.